A picture of a beautiful naked lady. by Hemingway


a picture relevant to this story.

Greetings Ruprecht!

Donc, as I may have already mentioned, I was out for a bon ride on my velo last week (it was a bon jour – plein de soleil, le ciel etait bleu, un peu des nuages) and I rode by this magasin that je t'aime bien, and I saw this tres vielle femme come out the porte with a petite package. Being nosy, I asked her what it was, and elle a dit, "C'est un "Activ Racer" - un petit cadeau pour mon petit-fils." And then she started hobbling away. As I said, she was very old and one of her jambes was plus court que l'autre.

I said to her, "I think my own garcon would like that cadeau too." Est-ce-qu'il y a another one dedans le magasin?"

And she said, "Malheureusement, non I'm afraid. J'ai juste bought the derniere one." And she regardé rather apprehensively at the grande heavy bike serrure in my main, and then at the thoughtful expression on my visage. Then she started to hobble away un peu plus rapidement.

Now honettement, if it would have been quelque chose for ta soeur, the thought wouldn't have ever crossed mon esprit, but because it was for toi, mon garcon favorit, j'ai peur que I acted impulsively. I pushed that old chauve-souris to the ground and attempted to snatch the jeu de ses mains.

She screeched like a mouette on the seashore trying to get at my patate frites, and amazingly elle fought back. And elle etait surprisingly fort for her age. Like I mean ... vraiment fort! I noticed pour le premiere fois that her biceps were rather well-developed, and she didn't just have a 5 o'clock shadow, she had a full-on barbe! Then a bunch of gendarmes appeared and tackled me. It was a sting operation!

Now, je sais that as your pere, you worship me as a hero and you think that I'm invincible comme your grand-pere, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Since tu were not there, I can tell you I did not disappoint. I was throwing those singes off me like they were rien. By the end of the fight, les flics were pleurent like les petits bebes. I marched back to my velo to get the enfer out of there, and just then a camion-lourde passed by – it said "Activ Racer" on the cote. It was a delivery truck full of ces jeux!

So instead of leaving, I walked the gauntlet of cochons into the magasin to get your toy, with all of them slow-clapping me and high-cinqing me as I marched past.