The Basics

January 1,
Ya really is.

As per my original vision, I'm limiting the number of fixed recipes on this site to just 26, which is plenty. Not even Gordon Ramsey has 26 5-star recipes in his little index card box.

So then what's below are mini-recipes and other information that don't merit their own space in the 26-recipe canon.

  1. Dry Roasted Chickpea Snack
  2. EZ Roasted Cauli
  3. Instant Pot Beans
  4. Quick Pickled Onions
  5. How to make head lettuce last a week (at least)
  6. Instant Pot Grains
  7. Italian Vinaigrette (Salad Dressing)
  8. Fast Brown Gravy

1. Dry Roasted Chickpea Snack

The only sugar-free vegan snack that actually tastes good.

  1. Preheat oven to 400/200. (no convection)
  2. Spread garbanzos (not dried, duh!) on a parchment paper covered cookie sheet.
  3. Bake for 10 minutes.
  4. Now pour the half-baked chickpeas into a large bowl
  5. Add 1 tbsp of oil, and add some salt and spices. Options are pepper, cumin, curry, chili, taco seasoning ... literally anything. Just make sure you add salt.
  6. Toss.
  7. Pour back onto the parchment paper and bake another 10 minutes or until crunchy.

2. EZ Roasted Cauli

For when you don't have time for Cauliflower With Tomatoes

  1. As many florets as desired into a large bowl.
  2. Add oil, salt, pepper, and smoked paprika to taste. Toss.
  3. Mince a clove of garlic into the bowl. Toss again.
  4. Pour onto parchment covered baking sheet.
  5. Bake 20m at 220/450. Chaleur tournant si possible.

3. Instant Pot Beans

  • Soak all beans for minimum 4 hours. Then throw out the water and rinse them before adding to the pot. Why? It washes them (beans are not washed before packaging), and it makes them more digestible (lessy farty). Some also say that soaked beans don't split as much.
  • After cooking, spread them out on a cookie sheet to cool and air dry a bit, then bag them and freeze them.
  • Choose:

4. Quick Pickled Onions

I keep these in an old barrel-style jar that used to hold Polish pickles.

  1. 1 1/2 cups water
  2. 3/4 cup vinegar
  3. 1 tablespoon sugar
  4. 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  5. Enough red onion, thinly sliced, to pack the jar.
  6. Heat the first four ingredients in a saucepan until hot. Pour over the onions in the jar. Once cooled, put the lid on and keep in the fridge.

Goes on EVERYTHING.

5. How to make leaf lettuce last

I've tried everything. This actually works.

  1. A head of leaf lettuce
  2. a salad spinner
  3. Fill the sink a third full of water. Add a 1/2 cup of salt.
  4. Pull off each leaf and put in the water. Move the leaves around a bit to dislodge the dirt.
  5. Remove from the sink momentarily and marvel at all the crap left behind.
  6. Drain the sink and refill a third full and put the lettuce back in. Move it around again.
  7. Now remove enough lettuce to fill your spinner and spin the shit out of it, before laying it out on a large towel. Use a bath towel if you have to.
  8. Leave on the towel until completely dry. Put it out in the sun on the deck or the balcony if you want. Or roll up the towel. Just make sure it's dry.
  9. Now grab a stainless steel pot large enough to hold it all, and put the lettuce in there.
  10. Cover with foil. The nice thing about foil is it doesn't seal perfectly like saran does.
    11. Without exaggeration, lettuce prepared this way will stay fresh and crisp anywhere from one week to seven years.

6. Instant Pot Grains

Once you've mastered whole grains, you'll never go back to unwhole ones.

7. Italian Vinaigrette (Salad Dressing)

Very basic. Infinitely customizable.

  1. 1/4 tsp sugar (skip if using kombucha vinegar)
  2. 1/4 tsp salt
  3. 1/4 tsp pepper
  4. 1/2 tsp dried herbs (de Provence, oregano, basil, italian, any)
  5. 1/2 tsp dijon
  6. 1 tbsp lemon juice
  7. 8 tbsp (1/2 cup) oil
  8. 2 tbsp vinegar (wine, balsamic, cider, kombucha)

The above makes a fine dressing, but you can also add ...

  • Optional: 2 tbsp fresh chopped parsley
  • Optional: 1 garlic clove chopped
  • Optional: 1/4 tsp crushed red peppers

Using a funnel into a bottle is a nice way to make this. Add the ingredients in the order listed (dry to wet). Stop up the bottle and shake.

Better the day after. If you don't use fresh herbs or garlic then you don't need to refrigerate. Not just for salads, put it on steamed broccoli or asparagus or baked potatoes or cold potatoes ...

8. Fast Brown Gravy

Uber basic.

  • Dissolve a 1/2 beef bouillon cube in 1 cup of hot water.
  • Melt 2 tablespoons of butter in a pan.
  • Add 2 tablespoons of flour to the butter, whisking constantly to form a roux. Cook for 2-3 minutes until it's golden brown.
  • Slowly pour in the bouillon mixture, whisking continuously.
  • Simmer until the gravy thickens, about 5 minutes.

Add fried mushroom and onions and dayum!, that's some fine gravy!.